Just Ask for Help

Many of the stories in this blog are about how women support others – their families, their friends, their employers, and often their parents. Almost all of us are good at being there when we are needed. We seldom say ‘no’ when asked for help.

Ironically though, we forget that when we need help ourselves. We make up a story that others are too busy to help us and so we don’t ask. And we give up on our dreams, believing that since we can’t do it on our own, it just isn’t meant to be.
How silly is that?!?

I speak from experience here.

An opportunity presented itself to me recently – something I had always dreamed of, but never thought would become a reality in my life. But, like most opportunities, it came with a few hurdles.

In a conversation with two of my dearest friends, I shared my ambivalence about this opportunity. How quick to provide support were they! They began by NOT letting me let go of the dream, insisting that I look honestly at what was keeping me from moving forward. And when I did that, I had to admit that what was holding me back was believing that I had to do it all by myself.

They made me realize that there was another option – asking for help.
Like most women, I was reluctant to ask for help, never mind RECEIVE it!

I thought that because something was hard for me, it was hard for others; I was so afraid to do some of the things required, I wouldn’t even start. And it hadn’t occurred to me that my friends might not share those fears.

My friend Carolyn (who is a Life Coach, here in Vancouver) was quick to point out that not only was she NOT AFRAID, she loved doing the things that scared me. Can you imagine my relief at hearing that? (and secretly, I wondered if she wasn’t just being kind …)

But she was genuinely interested in helping me and seeing me move toward my dream.
So, emboldened by her offer of help, I bucked up my courage and began the first few tentative steps.

And I know now that my dream really may come true; maybe that’s what they mean when they say that you CAN have your dream if you are willing to do what’s hard.

I’m not fully there yet, but here’s something interesting that’s happened along the way: I’ve decided to drop the thinking that others might not be willing to help me, and I’ve started to do what’s hard and ask others for help. You probably know what the response has been – to a one, every person I’ve asked has stepped up and been there for me.

And while this ALWAYS blows me away, I’m very grateful and I intend to continue asking – and receiving help. And stop trying to be a lone ranger.